For the past couple of weeks now, I've not only been rather terribly unhappy in life, but also on an awfully short fuse. I seem to be losing my cool at the drop of a hat.
I can understand why, though... As if having the ex sitting fifteen feet in front of me wasn't bad enough, her boyfriend has now moved to the row right behind me. So I've been pretty much surrounded by them.
They usually leave work between 7 and 7.30 pm, within ten minutes of each other. Of course, I know that they're surreptitiously meeting up in the lane near our office where people park their cars, and that she gets into his car there and goes back with him. I know because that's exactly what she and I used to do when we were seeing each other. And then I stay there at work, till past 9 or 10 pm.
You can probably imagine what it feels like to see your ex and her significant other leave work at an hour when most other people leave, and then stay there working away for another few hours yourself. It makes you feel like an absolutely hopeless loser, without even the semblance of a life. It deeply rubs in the fact that you're alone and lonely in life, and that you have nothing but an empty room to go back to at night.
Oh, and I've been brutally overworked at the office, lately. Something or the other keeps coming up, and everything is always urgent, so I've been having to work terribly long hours, over the past few months.
The work is stressful, I'm spending far too long at the office, I'm alone, I'm desperately lonely, and having to see (and now hear) the ex and her boyfriend every day at work is just rubbing the salt with a vengeance into my wounds.
I don't get out of the house much nowadays either, because I suddenly don't seem to have very many friends in Bombay to hang out with. Quant God's busy sorting out his marriage scene, Tigger has her own set of friends whom she hangs out with, spending a weekend evening with Papa Bear and Football Fan hugely depresses me (because spending a Saturday night with two men makes me feel like an absolute loser), and I don't have much enthu to meet up with the b-school gang any more, because it's always the same old people, and I never meet anyone new, and they aren't exactly close friends of mine to begin with.
Sigh. I think I'm more stressed out than I've ever been in my life. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, I get angry really easily, and I'm terribly lonely. My hair's started falling out at a scary rate again, and I'm spotting a lot of white hairs too, lately.
What do I need to do to be happy again? :-|
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